The Top 5 Ways you may be Sabotaging your Family Session - Part 2 | Lehigh Valley Family Photographer | Allentown Family Photographer

A few weeks back I shared #1 & #2 ways that parents sabotage their family session. You can read part one HERE. Part 2 is here where you can read 3 additional ways that parents sabotage their portrait session. (Just for fun I’m using photos of my own wildling!)


Sabotage #3: Using Pinterest as photo inspiration/asking your photographer to copy other people’s photos/setups/posing

Several times a year, a mama shows me photos she saved from Pinterest, or wherever, as photos she really likes - essentially, asking me to copy the image. I am going to be candid and speak out for the professional photographer world out there and tell you that we cringe inside when this happens. First, it’s SUPER important to us that we know we are being hired because our clients love our work. When you show your photographer an inspiration photo that was not taken by said photographer, you are telling us that you do not trust us or you prefer someone else’s vision. If we don’t match your style or show images that you absolutely love, then please work with someone else that can make you happy.

In addition, the client is setting up an expectation that they will receive an image that looks like the other person’s image - and we don’t want you to be upset when it doesn’t! It’s an entirely different photo by an entirely different person who shoots and edits their own way. And most importantly, it’s different people in the photo.

Reasons why we may not want to replicate your Pinterest photo may include, but is not limited to:

  • It’s not our personal style or aesthetic. I know you want these images to grace your walls - we want you to LOVE them, but on the same token, we have to love what we do too. Photography is an art - and I want my art to be true to me.

  • It may be a dated style that doesn’t reflect the current trends and we want to stay current with our work.

  • It’s not a flattering image for a particular body shape and we don’t have the heart to tell you. As a professional, I pride myself in my ongoing education, which includes learning how to pose people in flattering ways. We want you to look & feel your best in your photos!

  • It may be flat out dangerous! Think about images of people on railroad tracks, or a baby suspended in an unsafe manner.

  • We don’t want you to be disappointed when the final image doesn’t match the expectation you have in your mind.

    It’s not that we don’t want you to be excited about your photo session - we do! There’s just no reason you need to search for inspiration & poses (Aside from if you’re looking for a themed type session that some photographers offer); we will coach you through the whole thing! If you truly feel you must show your photographer what you do like, ( I see you, type A mamas) please look at our work and tell us what we have done that you love!

5 tips for family photos

Sabotage #4: Not allowing your photographer to be in control of the session

One of the most difficult things during a session is when the parents take control and I’m unable to get the capture the attention of the child as a result. While I know it happens because parents are trying to help, and at the same time want the happiest of smiles, it actually backfires in so many ways.

Some ways that parents take over control of the session include, but are not limited to:

  • Pointing at me, trying to get child to look my way

  • Talking at the child off to the side to get them to smile

  • Pulling out a cell phone to entertain a child without asking me first

When I’m trying to get a child’s attention & parents point at me to get their children to turn, I almost always end up trashing what otherwise would have been beautiful images. When you point at your photographer, the photographer has photos of you pointing - and that’s no good to anyone. When this happens, we usually catch an adorable expression from your child and we have to delete it.

When I’m trying to capture your child’s attention and hopefully get a smile, most parents instinctively move behind me and to the side and start engaging with their child. Instead of beautiful images of your child making eye contact with me, they are looking off to the side at you. Children will always look for their parents first, and especially when parents are engaging with them. It’s super important that you allow your photographer the opportunity to engage with your child first. While they may be slow to warm, I almost always am able to engage with your child in a way that captures authentic expressions - and perfect eye contact too! Please, please, don’t automatically jump in and feel like you need to entertain them - if I need help, I will absolutely ask!!

Another way parents take over control is by pulling out a favorite toy or a cell phone to make their child smile - while I have absolutely suggested these things in the past, its always a last resort ditch effort. If you pull out a cell phone or a favorite toy at the wrong time, your child will reach their arms out and want that phone - and then have a COMPLETE meltdown when they don’t get it. Rarely can we recover the session after this happens. Please don’t take your cell phone out unless your photographer asks or you have their permission.

(Images below are my husband trying to help me while standing off to the side - no bueno, Peter!)

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Sabotage #5: Not Being Prepared for your Session /Not reading information provided

I can’t tell you how many times over the years a session has been sabotaged due to lack of preparation.

Ways a session can be sabotaged in this way include:

  • Not reading the session prep guide

  • Not reading the clothing guide

  • Not leaving enough ample time to get dressed or drive to the session

  • Ignoring photographer’s feedback on wardrobe

  • Picking out outfits for your children first and then scrambling to find something for yourself

So many clients show up to their session extremely stressed & unprepared. Parents are snapping at one another, the energy is completely off and your photographer feels it too.

Trust me - I know how difficult it is to get a whole family ready and somewhere on time. If you start planning early, you can have everything laid out the night before, directions printed or already in the GPS, and all the questions you have for your photographer already asked (not the day of please!) It makes such a huge difference in how everyone feels and how the session unfolds. I want your session to be stress free and as relaxed as possible!


There are many other things that parents do that can sabotage their photo session - a quick few other ways include:

  • Not being camera ready at all times. I can’t even tell you how many times I have to delete photos that were otherwise gorgeous because of the parents. They were either scowling, talking, grooming themselves or their family members, pointing at the camera, or any number of things that would make it undeliverable. To the best of your ability, just keep smiling - no matter what happens, no matter what your child or partner are doing.

  • Booking the wrong session type - for example, if you have a child who is extremely slow to warm, a mini session is not an ideal session type. If you have a wild toddler that needs to run around, they will not sit for an indoors portrait session. If you have a large family, consider a longer session for greater variety instead of a short one. The most common session booked that is not a great fit for everyone is a ‘mini’ session - where its best when children take direction well and warm quickly. If you have a wildling, longer sessions are better because we have more time & more opportunities to get them to engage and listen well. And if they’re slow to warm, by the end of a longer session their true personality is shining.

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I hope both parts of this series were helpful in helping you better prepare (and attend) your next family portrait session!

When was the last time you had family portraits? Now booking Spring 2021 Family Portraits! hello@kristin-with-an-i.com

Kristin MilanoComment